Dear Peachy,
Today is the eve of Chinese New Year and just four days ago, Wan Ching gave birth to our second son, Jerome. The upcoming Chinese New Year should have been a happy one but it will not be, because you have chosen to leave us today.
Even though I am immensely sad, I feel relieved for you as your suffering has ended. We were all worried sick when you have not been eating for the past week and were all skin and bones. For the past two days, you did not even have the energy to lift your head or show any reaction when we came home. I contemplated sending you to the vet to be put down as it hurt to see you suffer like that. However, I thought I could wait till after the Chinese New Year holiday; I would have been able to spend some more time with you during this period.
The pain must have been unbearable for you to endure anymore and you passed on in mother's arms, not long after I said goodbye to you and left home. Why didn't you pass on in my presence, so that I could be with you till your last breath? Was it because I left home too quickly, before you were able to do so? I am sorry for not accompanying you all the way, till the very end.
We were together only for a short five years; I've always thought that we had more time. After all, the average life expectancy of small breeds like you is 13-15 years. Looking at how active and resilient you were, I've never thought that you would be ill. Thus, when the vet told me that you had cancer two months ago, I was devastated and broke down right in front of her. I could not accept the fact that our journey together was going to end so soon.
I tried to spend more time with you during these two months but we could no longer go on our walks like we did in the past as you grew weaker and weaker. Towards the end, I had to push you around in a baby pram. I tried my best to treat you well during this period but two months is too short to make up for the time which I could have spent with you, but didn't, over the past 5 years.
I will never forget the day we first met, in SPCA, on 5 Nov 2011. Chippy had passed on a few months earlier and we were looking for another dog to fill the void she had left behind. You were prancing about your cage, barking occasionally, looking active and cute, just like Chippy did in her younger days.
We decided that you were the one to fill the void and brought you home. You were quiet and timid for the first day, and that was it! Subsequently, you showed your stubborn JRT character and started barking at things. You would go crazy over two things: 1) when you heard people bouncing balls and, 2) food. We would discipline you due to your incessant barking and always called you a naughty girl. Please forgive us, you are a good girl now.
Despite the barking, things were within control and the regular walks expended some of your energy and prevented you from being too hyperactive. Not too long after you came, I got married and we had Jasper. Due to your barking, I had to put you at a foster's place when I went to work so that you wouldn't disturb Wan Ching and Jasper during the confinement period. Sorry for doing that and making you sad.
We had to get our own place and I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to see you regularly after I've moved. Fortunately, my new place was just across the street and I could still visit you at mother's place almost everyday. Despite that, the time that we spent together was reduced. I made it a point to visit every weekend and walk you. I did that during the initial period but as Jasper grew up, I tried to spend more time with him. I was also preoccupied with my own stuff, and we walked less and less frequently; I often left it to father to walk you on weekends.
I did not realise that you were growing old and ill until it was too late. I regret not taking you for more walks and spending more time with you. I also regret being so harsh with you when you kept barking. Now I feel sad whenever I arrive at mother's home and can no longer hear your welcome barks.
I have laid you into the incinerator and turned you into ashes. All I have of you now are only memories, happy memories of our regular walks, of the time we went for the ASD dog run at ECP, of the time you were by my side during my major life events: graduation, first job, marriage, Jasper's birth, and Jerome's birth. Thank you for being by my side and for all the happy memories. I will always keep you in my heart, together with Chippy.
Run free across the rainbow bridge without pain, and eat all you like. I will always remember you as the Peachy who can't eat enough. Go look for Chippy and ask her to be your guide. Goodbye for now. I will see you again, and we will continue our walks. We love you.
Watson
